My mind is blank today and I cannot think what to write, how to write or why to write. I fled to my parents house when I woke, to tell them of my good news, yet the sympathetic smiles and rolling eyes crushed me. Ring a bell? I do not hold it against them, but I was so excited to tell the world last night, that I did not sleep. I lay awake grinning at the TV for what seemed like forever, and was even tempted to send my parents a text message, Never mind.
Now that it is finally done, I cannot help thinking 'What now?'
I have wanted to take that step for ten years, and at times, I have obsessed over it. But now it has happened, I am left wondering WHY?
I STILL do not know 'what I want to be when I grow up'. I never was one to make plans, but the risk with taking each day as it comes is being left disorientated and dizzy when that day has come and gone. And right now, I am disorientated and dizzy.
I have no sense of 'imagination' and perhaps that is why I cannot plan my future. I am a dreamer of cold, hard truth and reality. Black and white, right and wrong; no blurry inbetweens.
I am uncomplicated in a complicated way.
I am blank.
Sand Castles In The Sky
7 years ago