Where have I been?
The last couple of months have been filled with self-discovery, for I am at a point in my life where, if I do not change who I am, I will risk my life and all the happy memories that are yet to come with my beautiful son, my devoted partner and my one-in-a-million family. I have revealed, to those closest to me, something that I have kept bubbling inside of me for 20 years. Putting myself first is probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.
The process of change is taking over my life, right now. I cannot focus on much else. At the same time, I am trying my hardest to keep it a secret from the rest of the world, as I do not want to be judged and branded as weak. It is my responsibility to set an example by keeping my head held high and looking on the Brightside.
My main outlet, at the moment, is writing. I suppose, if anything, the experience is inspiring. Writing is becoming my best friend, all over again. It is, to me, self-counselling. Stringing my thoughts into order is like defragmenting. Reading back those thoughts is like looking at myself through another’s eyes, it gives me a whole, new perspective.
I have learned, in the last couple of months that I have everything that I could ever, possibly need. It is far too easy to take what we have for granted and I hold my hands up for being ungrateful, in the past, for my blessings. Nobody said that this would be easy and it is clear that I have a long road to travel before I can truly say that I am fine, but I know now that I do not have to feel isolated. The support and understanding that my partner gives me is priceless and unconditional, and I am no longer walking this road alone.