A little ray of sunshine on a cloudy day...

I have finally received a copy of last month's magazine and am proud to say, I am now OFFICIALLY a published author. I am too shy to tell the world and had to get it off my chest so

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!

It looks so funky, with my bio and picture alongside, surrounded by famous authors and psychologists that I read of everyday. The title has been changed, but I do not mind that one bit. I finally have the portfolio I need to get going. I have been asked to write another which has to be submitted in 10 days time. The topic is 'talent' and I have a great idea. I am already enjoying writing this so much more than the last. I have finally 'broken the ice',

So, what's next...?

Well, I have been asked to talk on a radio station in America at the end of the month. I am still unsure whether I am capable of this because of my lack of confidence and nervous stutter, but if I can make it through that, it may inspire me to approach something new.

I am so grateful to have been given the chance to speak so loudly, to such a large audience! =) The ones who know me will understand how special that is to me! ;o) It is a sparkle of sunshine on a cloudy day!

THANK YOU!

Can't tell the bottle from the mountain top...

The highlight of my week is getting dressed up and meeting up with my friends on a Saturday night. We British women are notorious for our ability to hold our drink and, although I hate the feeling of being drunk, I do like to have a few Vodka and Red Bulls. This fortnight, I have tried going out and not drinking, but sitting in a pub full of drunken friends when your sober is a whole new experience. :oS The music seems louder, the lights seem brighter and everyone seems far more intoxicated. Needless to say, I failed miserably in my mission to stay sober. The stress of people falling into me, spilling drinks over me and laughing far too loudly in my ears drove me insane, and it was not long before I was drowning my worries in Budweiser.

The worst part of staying sober in a pub has to be Karaoke. Oh, the noise!! Any other week, I am practically dancing on the tables in appreciation, but to the 'spare prick in the wedding', Karaoke is hell on earth!!

I have come to the conclusion that a sober barman/woman is almost as saintly as a surgeon!

*nurses the hangover from hell*

Followers...

Hello. I just wanted to say a big thank you to my followers for the comments. I have only just noticed them. I apologise that I have not yet replied and I will do very soon.

THANK YOU! =)

Tempted and drawn to you like a force.
Innocently lost within my own thoughts.
You dominate me now and I love it, of course,
But if I ran away, it would be best for us both.

Recognise something of myself in your eyes.
An instant connection in a shameless disguise.
A sparkle of freedom where I'd like to hide.
An indecent escape from routine and pride,

Rescue me, mirror man, persuade me to come.
Wrap me in comfort and beg me to run.
Reflect my dreams and together we strum,
On the strings of our destiny, my favourite one.

And I'll follow you.

Wise words

Wise Words...

I have spent the day driving in the rain, hypnotised by the windscreen wipers, drowning out the sound of the mis-firing engine with my favourite Foo Fighter's album. I have been in 'my own little world' all day after a sleepless night and, despite not waking up feeling good, I have not had a bad day. I am currently curled up on the chair beside the computer with a glass of vodka, a cigarette and a smile on my face.

I started writing a new song last night. I have not written a new song for a while. I can never write when I am happy for some reason. I am quite happy with it so far. I have a few ideas. I am getting used to being on my own, slowly. A few weeks ago, I was sent a postcard from a friend. It inspires me. Hope you like.





"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"

Dream a little dream...

I've not written for days and my head is about to explode. The dreams I have had lately are really playing on my mind. I cannot even write what most of them are about which is SOOOO frustrating, but the dream that woke me up last night was a flash of a man hanging from a noose, dangling over a grave (shudder).

I cannot work out why, after seven years of recurring dreams, I am dreaming such weird nightmares. I used to believe in everything. I would have made sense of it a few years ago, but now... I don't know... I have forgotten who I am, who I was and who I want to be.

This year, I have lost my first cousin, my oldest friend and, in many ways, myself. My head is FUCKED!

I am looking for something... I'm not sure what... I'm lost.

I am not only dreaming nightmares. I am dreaming amazing stuff too! Those dreams are playing on my mind the most...

I have been trying to write the next article for the magazine, but I cannot even write sense in this blog. I give in

.